I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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