today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
