So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
