you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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