On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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