Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
