I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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