Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
