she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
it glows. i had to have it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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