It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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