Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
