just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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