i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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