And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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