she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
