SEEEEXXX PLEASE
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
