just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
