so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
