I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
