You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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