You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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