Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
