yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
