So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
