You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
