you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
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You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
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Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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