So drunk, too bad you don't want this
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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