I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
