Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
