My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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