Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
