States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
