i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
