I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
