Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
