just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Do vagina's smell?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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