Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
