Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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