Pants 0. Shit 1.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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