Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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