I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Damn victory sex feels great
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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