walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
