The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
