i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
