So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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