Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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