True but thats because hes a fetus.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
my poor anus
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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