Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
