Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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