I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
