i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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