You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
