Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
