absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
