fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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