clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
