Non-Jews are for practice
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
