i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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