Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
